Asset-Based Thinking

The next several blogs will be about our thought processes. Our thoughts get in our way so often and we're told in the bible to "Take every thought captive." This means that we should slow down the process of our thinking and pay attention to what thoughts we allow to enter our minds. The full verse (2 Corinthians 10:5) says, We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.

This implies that we have thoughts (speculations) that are destructive. We also have thoughts that go against the knowledge of God. Have you ever had thoughts like that? I have! When we think poorly of ourselves (or others) we are having destructive speculations and it certainly isn't how God see's us (or others.) So we'll start a process of taking captive our thoughts. From there we can see how our thoughts impact the direction of our lives.

We'll start with Asset-Based Thinking (ABT).

Asset-based thinking (ABT) focuses upon opportunities rather than problems, strengths more than weaknesses, what can be done instead of what can’t. Focusing on what is right builds enthusiasm and energy, strengthens relationships, and moves us toward progress.

After 9/11, Mayor Rudy Giuliani focused his thinking (and the media’s attention) on making acts of heroism more meaningful than acts of terrorism.

Oprah Winfrey devotes time and talent to spotlight people who live lives inspired by purpose and passion, dispelling the myth that the drama of dysfunction is the only thing that sells.

ABT is a choice – not a personality trait.

ABT is NOT blind optimism, a quick fix or deficit-based thinking (DBT). DBT focuses on what’s not working and slows progress. DBT see’s people and circumstances from a negative angle.

Here are some examples of DBT and ABT:

DBT Message / ABT Message
Not this again... / At least I know how to deal with this.
Watch out! / Heads up!
Why didn't you.... / What was in your way?
That won't work.... / What could work?
Oh no! Not again... / Things could be better, but I've seen this before
I'll never make it... / Put one foot in front of the other and move.
That's just the way life is... / Whatever it is...I'll work with it.
That's impossible... / What is possible?
It's not good enough. / Forget perfection!
He's out of his mind... / What makes him tick?
I'll never get this done... / This will take longer than expected.
This sucks! / I'm disappointed.
What's the matter with me? / What am I learning?
How could you let this happen? / What have you learned from this?
Once again, you've fallen short. / Step back up to the plate.
Get out of my way. / Here I come.
If only.... / Hindsight is 20-20.
They just don't get it. / They disagree.
How did I miss that? / I missed that!
Whose fault is that? / What's done is done. Move on!
Why didn't I do this or that? / What can I do better next time?
I can't... / I will.
That'll never change. / How can I get around this?

DBT people exhaust our energy. They complain, blame others for problems and see the negative in most situations. If we become a DBT person, we're exhausted and probably see signs of unhappy relationships around us.

ABT requires that we recognize and get rid of ANTS (automatic negative thoughts.) These are sometimes so unconscious that we don’t realize that we’re buying into them. Here are nine ANTS that you should avoid:

1. Black and White (all or nothing / always or never) thinking.
2. Negative thinking – the glass is always half full, or why something won’t work, the worst in someone or something.
3. Fortune-telling – Acting on assumptions of what will happen rather than letting the outcome tell itself.
4. Mind-reading – Assuming what someone else is thinking, believing or why they behave the way they do.
5. Led by feelings – Believing that feelings are truth and allowing them to be the instrument by which decisions are made.
6. Guilt beatings – Should of / would of / could of / ought to have thoughts that bring guilt.
7. Labeling – Attaching labels to self or others based upon past experience or information.
8. Personalization – Assuming that events or conversations have personal meaning.
9. Blaming – Blaming others or situations for own problems.

Taking these thoughts captive (killing the ANTS) is critical for growth. Thoughts can be ‘re-framed’ to bring truth instead of automatically seeing the negative. For example, regarding black and white thinking you might think, “You NEVER listen to me.” Instead, you can take the though captive and re-frame the sentence to say, “I don’t feel heard. I get frustrated when you don’t listen to me, but I know you have listened to me in the past and will again.”

Regarding mind-reading you might think, “She doesn’t like me.” Instead, you can take the thought captive and re-frame the sentence to say, “I don’t know if she doesn’t like me. Maybe she’s having a bad day. She’s a person too.”

ABT in action – Here are some activities you can do to check your ABT abilities.

Dinner Talk: Sit down to dinner and ask everyone in your family to share the best thing about their day. This allows them to relive their high-points. Everyone is engaged and dinner becomes another high point.

Challenge ANTS: Write a typical thought you have for each ANT and write a way that you can re-frame the thought.

ABT vs. DBT: Observe your thinking over the next week. Note the times that you think from ABT vs. DBT. See which of these two you are feeding the most. You might be surprised!

The great news is that it's never too late to learn a new skill. Become an ABT person today!!!

God bless.